Wow, haven't been updating this blog for ages. Sorry guys! hehe. Anyhow, we just finished the South Pacific Conference in our fellowship. It was awesome. I could write a novel. lol.
This was the sermon on August 21st, Friday and was first written on my Facebook as a note. Just thought I'd share it here on my Blogspot. hehe. :p
Ok, I'm just aimless now. lol. I'm writing this because of Pastor Walsh's sermon entitled 'Favor with People'.
He tells about a man he carefully observed. A man who prays and reads the Bible. He does the things of God. He is basically a man of God. But when he goes home, he is friendless. He don't have the favor with people.
I guess I'm like that. No, it's not a guess. It's a fact. Here in Fiji, at least. I go to church 3 times a week. I'm always present in church activities. Haven't been in outreaches lately though. I love the church. It's been our 'family' here in Fiji.
But reality strikes... I have few friends. Friends that I could say I'm really *close* with. Like close, close. Thank God I have a sister I'm always with. If not for her, I could say I'm always ALL BY MYSELF. lol.
Ahhh. It's frustrating! haha.
I'm shy and quiet. I know.. That's the first impression my friends say. But there's a reason for that... I had no childhood friends aside from my siblings and classmates in school. I mean, you know. In the Phil, at least, you have some playmates and friends in the neighborhood. I got none. I play with my sibs, and sometimes, with our yaya's or nannies. But I don't treat them like that. They are like a family. They took care of us when our parents were not there for us. **hint hint** Guess, you now get it why I'm shy and quiet... Yes, it has something to do with the past. I'll tell it all next time. It's another novel. I mean, story... lol
I hate rejection. I guess, not being able to be close with my rents when I was young somewhat made me feel rejected.
Going back to the story, I'm like that man. I believe I do the things of God yet I don't find the favor with people. lol. Haha. Okay, enough for the emo-ness... I'm not saying I dont have friends. I have few *close* friends that I would really miss when I leave Fiji. I guess, the others cant catch up with me. I'm the person that doesn't talk much when I'm not that close to someone. But I must tell you, I'm easy to get along with. I suck at starting a conversation. It's hard for me to make new friends. Coz in the Phil, they make friends with me. lol. So I thank those friends who took the initiative. lmao. haha.
To my future friends, I'm not that hard to be friends with. I guess, one of the reasons people don't want to be that close to me is because they think the only way to get connected with me is Starbucks, and other some-what expensive places I go to hang out. I thought of that reason because someone has told me once that 'I have expensive taste'... I'm not choosy with those kinds of stuffs. I can eat street foods too, for crying out loud! haha. XD I might be a big spender at times but I also know how to save money.
Ok, whatever.. I just wanna let my future friends know that I wanna be friends with them. It's easy but it's hard. lol. It's easy to be friends with me but it's hard to keep up with me. I'm introvert. Someone must *trigger* that friendliness in me. lol
Favor with People. Why is it so hard to get? Sigh......
3 reasons Pastor Walsh pointed out:
1. Busy-ness --- I'm too busy with nothing. lol. I mean, they are busy with something. Probably, with their own circle of friends.
2. Selfishness --- Okay, I'm not selfish. But maybe somehow. Ahh yeahh... When I have a friend, I want all of their attention,,,in some ways.. lol :p
3. Laziness --- I'm too lazy to make friends... specially if I know that it wont last that long. What do I mean by this? As I've said, I'm easy to be friends with but it's hard to keep up with me. If I think that you're not the type of person who is like my best friend who is talkative (thank goodness she's not on Facebook), I mean hyper friendly not talkative, I'm lazy to make the effort. I know it's demonic. I should get rid of that motto and start to reach out and make friends. Ahh. I hate rejection. lol.
Ok... I dunno why I shared this out. Less than 4 months to stay in Fiji. I guess, I'm still hoping to make some more friends before I leave. I mean, *close* friends. Or maybe not. At least, the fewer close friends I have, the fewer people I would miss when I go home. *emo* lol lol lol.